I have experienced an immense amount of fear and shame on my own creative journey. In 2020, I chose to (gradually) step away from a burgeoning career in art research and museum curation because of the undeniable pull within to devote my life to creation and community. There had always been a deeper, more powerful urge to connect through and in the name of creativity, but the path I was on was proving to be one that kept me hidden, behind the scenes, and working for someone else’s vision. I didn’t hate that path, and I still love curation and museums, but the desire to move into a more raw, embodied experience of creativity was stronger than the potential stability the conventional path was (barely) proving to offer.

And that felt mad. I doubted the validity of this choice for a long time, even though it felt increasingly true and magnificent. It scared a lot of people in my life. It left them confused, and the first threshold I had to cross was the ability to withstand causing other people discomfort. That was a doozy.

Because I had been living with a belief that my life was not really my own. That other people knew better than I did about who I was and what I can do. I believed people when they doubted what was possible and thus doubted me. People I loved and cared for, too. It’s not anyone’s fault, per say, because the world can be a very scary place, and we all want to feel safe.

Our world also teaches many of us to abandon our own instincts and to betray the capacity of our own bodies. Most of us are raised to disregard - in some way or another - the yearning we have to actually be who we really are. It can feel completely de-stabilising and even dangerous to claim our deepest desires and begin to make real space for them in our lives.

Many of us also come to find ourselves - through various experiences - conditioned to ignore or override the signals from our bodies and nervous systems that something is wrong, whether the “wrongness” is due to something being “too much”, “not enough” or otherwise “unwanted”.

And you know what? That potential instability and emotional danger that comes with taking up space - that is real. There are so many self-development gurus, coaches and readers who tend to push the message that fear or resistance is ONLY your limited mindset and ultimately an illusion, and that you just need to change your thinking and then you’ll be free of those self-imposed blocks that hold you back.

But that’s bullshit. Your nervous system is wise. It has experienced enough - or witnessed enough - to know what will probably be too much to hold at any given time. It tries to protect you just as much as it shows you the way toward pleasure, play, freedom and joy. Sometimes there are real things, people and circumstances in our lives that make the stakes feel far too high to reasonably take that risk.

If you’re experiencing blocks, fear, despair or anxiety along the way, and feeling frustrated with yourself, that might be because you are expecting yourself to function at a capacity that is not yet a reality for your body. There are real needs - some internal and some external - that often have to be addressed first, before we can move into grander arenas of expression and “success”. And that is where this work, at CREATIVE TEMPLE, comes in.

The work that I do, and that I have personally developed through my own journey (and a simultaneous training and education in somatics and un-shaming), is based on this undeniable truth. There is no bypassing, no going around your reality. In my corner, we move into an embodied sense of safety and confidence through a process of inner listening.

That is what I am committed to: building TRUE safety within. Internal safety leads to self trust. Self trust leads to embodying personal power. Embodying personal power means we are living authentically, and are thus a beacon for the relationships and opportunities that are right for us.

That doesn’t mean that life becomes a breeze, or that we get everything we want immediately and exactly as we want it. It means we have a strong internal guidance system that we rely on and can return to on a daily basis that helps us to make decisions and life choices that reflect our personal truth, and our most essential needs.

I do not have any desire to participate in your own self-betrayal. I do not believe any coach or reader can tell you how to best navigate your life, your art, or your business. You are your own compass, and the only thing I can help you do is to learn how to use it.

I have no desire to help you uproot your life, unless you want to. I have no desire to sell you lies. It’s simple: there is no single answer, no one truth, no one way of finding success. We are all of us learning together and teaching each other. We are all of us exploring the many roads through, and finding wisdom.

Let me tell you, the path I chose has not been easy. But it has most certainly been fulfilling. Deeply fulfilling. I have learned more about myself, my own capacity for expansion, confidence and growth than I EVER could have if I did not take this “leap” of faith in myself.

But the thing is, it is a gradual process - not a sudden jump - into the unknown. One that unfolded in stages of healing and expansion, rest and emergence, like a spiral dance that never ends.